Aug 292013


I have came to accept the fact that i am not ready to accept the fact that daddy is not here anymore.

Last month’s today, daddy had cardiac arrest and never woken up ever since. How time flies. Every time i think of daddy, the picture of daddy lying down on the sofa resting with 1 hand over the chin/mouth area (as though he was putting on a thinking cap) greets me. It felt as though i just saw him last week. The memory is so vivid… it’s just so hard to accept that daddy is gone…. forever. :“(

This morning, the sisters and i were chatting on What’sApp group chat and the topic of daddy came up. Without realizing, the tears welled up and before i knew it, we were all crying, again. It’s just so so painful. So painful. I really have no idea when i can finally let go. The gf says that’s not possible but there will be a day when eventually, tears will just stop rolling down. Instead, a smile will be in placed, reminiscing the wonderful memories daddy and i had together.

I had wanted to surprise daddy with this magazine feature when i planned to visit him last month. Little did i know that i was a tad too ambitious…

But i managed to share the news with him though. Not sure if he had heard me but i certainly had a good time chatting with daddy during the 1 hour when i was there alone in the ICU — the rest of the family members were stuck at Nirvana Memorial Park sorting out stuff. I told daddy about the feature, about my dreams, the boys, my worries… I also told him what a wonderful daddy he was. The best ever. I couldn’t have asked for more. That 1 hour.. was probably the best hour i had during my trip back. It was so peaceful, i felt so at ease, lying down next to daddy.. just the two of us, talking.

You know.. I really wish… we had a sign or something. To tell us that daddy was gonna go soon… so that we can do everything that we wanted to… Then, at least, i won’t have so so many regrets. :((((

Till today, i blame myself for not rushing back the few days before the incident happened, even though the heart had fiercely told me to. If i had then, probably none of this would have happened……..

Every time i think of the promise i made during our last phone call… i thought my heart would go into some severe cramps. French/Jap cuisine i didn’t manage to bring daddy to, but mutton briyani from the famous Jalan Gasing i did, to daddy’s wake. The same Indian food that we had talked about on our way back from the hospital during my June’s trip.

Anyway, like what i had told the darling sisters… i’m so gonna live it up from now on. Loving my dear ones generously and passionately, for we really don’t know what will happen tomorrow. We read about it so often on Facebook inspirational quotes but how many of us take that seriously? I, for one, didn’t. We always thought, there’ll still be plenty of time, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year… but from this experience of mine, i know that is no longer true.

The first thing i will do when i go to Kuala Lumpur next month is to snap a photo of mummy and i. I’m still gonna take her to the French/Japanese restaurant that i had promised daddy and her. I am so gonna spend all of my 24/7 hours with her, keep her company and just be there until she gets so bored of me and shoo me off. Meanwhile, i’ll just pour my love out to ones who are closer (read : arm’s width away) to me now, my in laws, my husband, my children and my dearest friends. :)

Do you have something that you’ve always wanted to do / say to your loved ones but haven’t done so? Why not today? Don’t wait.

Gula Melaka Huat Kueh or Fatt Koh

A -

200g bread flour
1 tbsp instant yeast
154ml water
(mix to proof for 2 hours)

B -

250g all purpose flour
3 tsp baking powder
200g gula melaka, or palm sugar
196ml coconut milk


1. Mix A and B together to form batter.
2 Pour batter in cups and arrange in wok to steam for 15 minutes.

** can be frozen up to 1 month



Nov 082012

*photo taken with the phone

I have made chocolate truffle just once in this entire life of mine and trust me, i got traumatized. So difficult to shape!

Sometime last week, i decided to give chocolate truffle another go, with a different recipe no less. I read up a couple of recipes before deciding on this particular recipe which in my humble opinion, seemed pretty solid because of one additional ingredient. And guess what? Molding these chocolates was as easy as ABC! By the way, i didn’t even have to use my hands. All i did was scrapped the hardened chocolate with spoon, threw all of them into a plate of cocoa powder, gave them a roll or 2 and viola!

So simple but oh so orgasmic (and affordable too!) these wicked stuff! <3

Chocolate Truffle

(makes 30)

227 g good dark chocolate – i used 76%
120ml whipping cream
28g unsalted butter
2 tbsp alcohol, optional

Coating for chocolate

cocoa powder, toasted nuts, tempered chocolate, shaved chocolate, coconut flakes


1. Place the chocolate in a bowl. Set aside. Heat cream and butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to just boil. Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chocolate and allow to stand for a minute or 2. Stir with a rubber spatula till smooth. If desired, add liqueur. Cover and place in the fridge until the mixture is firm.
2. Shape anyway you fancy. Roll them, slice them, scoop them. But immediately roll the truffle in the coating, cover and refrigerate until firm. These truffles can last for a couple of weeks or frozen for a couple of months.

(recipe from Joybaking)


No price for guessing what i’d be making this Sunday night! ;)

pssttt : my entire box got emptied out in less than a week and i actually doubled the recipe! Horrors!!

Previous attempt on Chocolate Truffle here.

Oct 212011

It’s raining pomegranate at home lately.

Darcy has been bringing this ruby-like fruit home every week for a couple of weeks now. Most of the time, i’ll just eat it just like that as snacks. Apart from salads, i really can’t think of what to do with it until one day, my batch of pink macaron failed on me. :(

The goodness of pomegranate :

Recent scientific research is demonstrating that pomegranate may be helpful in the prevention and treatment of various types of cancer such as breast cancer, skin cancer, prostate cancer and lung cancer.  Research using both mouse mammary organ culture and human breast cancer cells in vitro has demonstrated anticancer effects of pomegranate extracts.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM).

Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM) is an annual international health campaign organized by major breast cancer charities every October to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those affected by breast cancer’

As well as providing a platform for breast cancer charities to raise awareness of their work and of the disease, BCAM is also a prime opportunity to remind women to be breast aware for earlier detection.

I’ve been meaning to participate in the Pink Ribbon Walk again this year, just like what i did back in 2009 – yikes, it has been 2 years already! Unfortunately, due to my tight schedule, i had to give it a miss.  But come next year, i’ll make it a point to join the walk again, tight schedule or not. ;)

Eton Mess

*makes 4 smallish cups

  • 2 cups strawberries
  • a handful of pomegranate seeds
  • 2 teaspoons pomegranate juice
  • 2 cups whipping cream
  • 2 cups failed macarons, crumbled


1. Hull and chop the strawberries and put into a bowl and add the sugar and pomegranate juice and leave to macerate while you whip the cream.

2. Whip the cream in a large bowl until thick but still soft.

3. Arrange the berries, pomegranate seeds and crumbly macarons in your preferred way on 4 serving plates or glasses or in a mound, and top each with some of the remaining macerated strawberries.

Adapted from Nigella Lawson


This gotta be one of the quickest, (but not yummiest :P) dessert that i’ve ever assembled. Just 5-10 minutes, and you’ve got  some pretty decent tasting and gorgeous looking desserts staring back at ya!

Meanwhile, i’ll just go do some read ups on how to use those pomegranate seeds that have been sitting in the fridge since 2 days ago.